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First Published in 'the Baptist' July - August 2000
Also published in Death and Dying Guide,- September 2000
South Australia Stillborn and Neo Natal NewsLetter - May 2002

Elaine Ingalls Hogg

Bereavement
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Elaine Ingalls Hogg

Letter to My Cherished Child


Letter to my Cherished Child
By Elaine Ingalls Hogg 2000

They say I never knew you, but I did.
I remember the very day I met you.

Long before I could tell your father of the changes in my body,
There was a tiny suspicion that you were hiding inside of me.

The morning that the strip changed colour,
Your existence was confirmed and my role changed.
I became your mother and you became my cherished child.

Later, I felt your tiny heart beat fluttering within
And how you wiggled at night until we both were exhausted.
Finally we fell to sleep; together, one.

Early on, my child, you were lulled by my voice.
You stopped kicking and listened as I read aloud or sang.
Your father and I lay awake at night and planned your future.
We talked about the things we would do together as a family,
The places we would go, how you would look on your first day of school.

Then, in one terrifying second-Our dreams were shattered.
Seering pain ripped through my body, cutting me in half.
Blood, the very symbol of life, gushed from me.

But no physical pain will ever compare to the pain in my heart. People stare.
They wonder why I cry.
My child, they never new you, but I did.
For today, I'll hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms.
Always cherished,
Love Mom